When I’m not championing the cause of Britain’s foremost comparison website, I like to unwind with a refreshing lager top and a packet of crisps.

These days, you can get crisps in all manner of zany flavours. Exotic ranges like Builder’s Breakfast and Barbeque Squirrel have made their way onto corner shop shelves in recent years. But for me, nothing beats good old cheese & onion. There’s something about the rich cheese flavour set against the sharpness of the onion which just does it for me every time. Team these factors up with a good crunch and a high quality, flavoursome potato, and you’ll find yourself in snack heaven.

I love comparing things, so I decided to run the rule over some readily-available crisps. By undertaking this challenge, I also hope to define what makes a cheese & onion crisp so special. Heck, I might even learn something about myself on the way.

Before we get underway, a few notes: this isn’t a definitive comparison. Doubtless you’ll notice a few glaring omissions: I’d like to think that I’m stoking up a bit of debate and will leave room for you to have your own ten cents on cheese & onion crisps, rather than provide the last word myself.

Secondly, I’ve opted to use ‘pure crisps’ and have omitted reconstituted potato or maize snacks. Last year, a High Court court ruling judged a popular crisp-shaped savoury snack to be “not a crisp,” so I’m going to follow the letter of the law.

Finally, the views expressed here are not necessarily those of Gocompare.com. Cheese & onion crisps are subject to peoples’ own personal opinion and taste. Anything written here should be taken with a generous pinch of salt. And vinegar.

Cheese & Onion Crisps – The Test

Walkers Cheese & Onion

We’re using Walkers well-loved take on cheese & onion as our ‘control crisp.’ I’m of the opinion that it’s the standard against which all other mid-range cheese & onion crisps are judged. Of course, the Gary Lineker-approved classic hasn’t always dominated: for years it was locked in a bitter war of attrition with Golden Wonder, and stood out like a sore thumb with its trend-bucking blue packaging while its rivals sported green livery.

But it’s still a cracker of a crisp. There’s an excellent flavour, unique to the crisp, and a fine crunch. It’s going to be a tall order for the others to follow this one.
8/10

Sainsbury’s ‘own brand’

A disappointing display from the venerable British retailer. The crisp itself is flimsy and pallid, with an absence of bite. Flavour-wise, the crisp really underperforms, with an absence of cheese taste, and just a hint of mild onion. I expected better.
3/10

Tesco ‘own brand’

Tesco’s take on the classic British snack is a lot crisper and tastier than Sainsbury’s offer, if you ask me. It’s darker in hue, with a far richer nose. It even manages to hold its own admirably against the Walkers standard. However, the packaging bears an unfortunate resemblance to the logo of troubled energy company BP.

But we can rest assured that no crude oil has been used in the manufacturing of these snacks: it’s the vegetable-derived stuff all the way.
6/10

McCoy’s Cheese & Onion

The thick-cut, deep-ridged McCoys snack is billed as a ‘man’s crisp.’ Being a virile male myself, I’m instantly drawn to this. Grrr.

While the texture and crunch factor are nearly untouchable, myself and my comparison crew can’t help noticing that the flavour and aroma is a little on the fusty side, with not enough of an onion presence to cut through the cheese. While McCoy’s ready salted, flame grilled steak and salt & vinegar ranges are leaders in their respective fields, there’s the unshakeable sense that Cheese & Onion is the poor relation…in this instance, at least.
6/10

Real Crisps Strong Cheese & Onion Flavour

The Real Crisps brand positions itself at the ‘premium’ end of the market. They’re a more rustic proposition than other crisps we’ve taken in thus far: fairly small, but this can be put down to their non-genetically modified credentials. There’s a satisfying thickness to the crisp, and the flavour is tippity-top with a sharp tang from the cheese followed by a lingering potato finish. Naturally, the skins are left on, which gives the crisp a real boost. One of the comparison crew found the coating to be a little gritty, but it just reminded me of halcyon days scoffing crisps on Rhosili Bay and getting sand stuck between my teeth, and that’s alright by me.
8/10

Marks & Spencer’s The Big Crinkle Cheese & Onion

Ooof! This packet is certainly packing a strong parmesan waft on opening. I’m not sure if I’ve ever witnessed such a thick crisp in all my days of enthusiastic munching – these are whoppers, make no mistake. There’s a full-bodied crunch and unparalleled texture, and a decent helping of flavour, too. A fantastic all-rounder, although the taste was stacked a little to heavily in favour of cheese-to-onion for it to be a true crisp for the ages.
7/10

Marks & Spencer Taw Valley Cheddar & Caramelised Shallot

You can bang on about “these not just being cheese & onion crisps” until you’re blue in the face. If you can’t back up the seductive voiceover, titillating close-ups and languid soundtrack with top notch snacks, then they count for nothing. Nothing, I tells ya!

Thank heavens that M&S have pulled out all the stops. This is truly mighty crisp: rich cheesiness, plus a cracking onion tang. They’re thick, satisfying, crunchy and my clear favourite. If somebody told me that the potatoes were grown using unicorn manure, I wouldn’t be surprised. So, should you plan splashing out on crisps, it’s unlikely you’ll find a better sort than this.
9/10

So, what do you think? Do Seabrook’s crisps do it for you? Or maybe you like to kick it on an old-school tip with the increasingly elusive Golden Wonder (a crisp we tried locating for the test but couldn’t find for the life of us)? Maybe you’re not a fan of crisps whatsoever, and think this a heap of inane tripe? Whatever your thoughts, fill us in with your crispy opinions.

Bye for now,

Gio